Date: Wed, 8 Sep 1999
From: Jim Geary
To: cgp
Subject: Re: [cgp] Portland, OR, Sep 4-6, final results
On Tue, 7 Sep 1999, Steven Alexander wrote:
Note: Steven Jones' margin in the Main tournament is shown as "-370*", because of a challenge ruled upon incorrectly against him. CABRIOLE was typed in at the challenge desk as "CABRIIOLE" (the log kept by Barry Harridge's program "look" was useful for confirming this), a slip saying "CABRIIOLE: not acceptable" returned to the table, and CABRIOLE removed. Although inspection by the players could have nullified the error, the tournament organizers took full responsibility by crediting Jones' spread with 95 points, 25 more than the value of the lost play. (Rule 10(h))
It's nice that the organizers took "full responsibility," but is it their responsibility to ask for a 2nd opinion? No. It was his. He blew it. Obviously, I'm not a big fan of this new rule. I leave it to Jim Kramer to compose the puzzle wherein someone wins the tourney but loses the game after having the same word erroneously ruled upon 17 times in a row. No, wait, I'm going to do it myself....
Date: Wed, 8 Sep 1999
From: Jim Geary
To: cgp
Subject: Providential Reminiscences
I'll never forget the summer of 2000.
In June, Colleen gave her first bongo recital, JSBach's Tocatta & Fugue in D Minor. July brought yet another Woodstock revival to Yazger's farm. Headliners Quiet Riot capped their monster reunion tour with a medley of OurHouse/C'monFeelTheNoise/Blowin'intheWind/TheStarSpangledBanner as the vendors attacked the fans. The Montreal Expos started 35-5, and were on the road to winning the World Series, though that still wasn't enough to stop Jim Leyland from quitting at the end of the year. Sure, there was a bit of rioting at the DNC, but the Reverend Sharpton assured us that when he defeated Bob Bauer in November that his new gun control program combined with restrictions on the use of cryptography would guarantee that the police state could properly abuse the citizenry.
But my tale is a more personal one.
I arrived in Providence with the highest of hopes. The vegetarian lifestyle had me in the best shape of my life, and I had made enough money shorting Apple that I was no longer constrained by the need to work. I spent some of the lucre on the latest and greatest smart drugs, and one can't overrate the value of my quitting drugs and alcohol. I took the early lead, reeling off eleven games in a row, but, as always, Brian Cappelletto was hot on my tail. By the 31st game he had drawn even, and was even one hundred twenty spread points ahead of me. The third place contestant, Stu Goldman, was 3 games back, so it came down to one game for all the marbles.
Going first, I was fortunate to pick the Q first tile out of the bag. Unfortunately, I only pulled one and zero-pointers to go with it:
----------------------------- |= ' = ' =| | - " " - | | - ' ' - | |' - ' - '| | - - | | " " " " | | ' ' ' ' | |= ' - ' =| | ' ' ' ' | | " " " " | | - - | |' - ' - '| | - ' ' - | | - " " - | |= ' = ' =| ----------------------------- Opening rack: AINQTU? Still, it wasn't as bad as I first thought. After racking my brain for almost five minutes, I ventured: ----------------------------- |= ' = ' =| | - " " - | | - ' ' - | |' - ' - '| | - - | | " " " " | | ' ' ' ' | |= ' A N T I Q U e =| | ' ' ' ' | | " " " " | | - - | |' - ' - '| | - ' ' - | | - " " - | |= ' = ' =| ----------------------------- for 100 points. It looked kinda funny, but when I sounded it out, it made sense. Brian says hold. He started to play the three letters ----------------------------- |= ' = ' =| | - " " - | | - ' ' - | |' - ' - '| | - - | | " " " " Z| | ' ' ' ' E| |= ' A N T I Q U e D| | ' ' ' ' | | " " " " | | - - | |' - ' - '| | - ' ' - | | - " " - | |= ' = ' =| ----------------------------- for 90, but pulled them back. He thinks that ANTI-QUED looks really funny. Fortunately for him, the last AB member rated over 1000 had recently been forced out and free challenges were finally instituted to salvage the integrity of the game. It turned out my fears were justified as ANTI-QUE is no good!! Shrug. The board now looks like ----------------------------- |= ' = ' =| | - " " - | | - ' ' - | |' - ' - '| | - - | | " " " " | | ' ' ' ' | |= ' - ' =| | ' ' ' ' | | " " " " | | - - | |' - ' - '| | - ' ' - | | - " " - | |= ' = ' =| ----------------------------- He decides to kill the star with the letters I've already seen. ----------------------------- |= ' = ' =| | - " " - | | - ' ' - | |' - ' - '| | - - | | " " " " | | ' ' ' ' | |= ' Z E D ' =| | ' ' ' ' | | " " " " | | - - | |' - ' - '| | - ' ' - | | - " " - | |= ' = ' =| ----------------------------- to go up 26-0. I hated to waste my Q but I finally played ----------------------------- |= ' = ' =| | - " " - | | - ' ' - | |' - ' - '| | - - | | " " " " | | ' ' ' ' | |Q U A N T I Z E D ' =| | ' ' ' ' | | " " " " | | - - | |' - ' - '| | - ' ' - | | - " " - | |= ' = ' =| ----------------------------- 87-26Through a strange turn of events, I was up 61 points and still had the blank, whereas had ANTI-QUE been acceptable, it would've been even and my blank would've been wasted. Brian was on turn and an epic struggle ensued. He whittled away at my lead. On move nine, I lost another turn playing YRIVD. I still can't believe that's not in the American book. It looked like I had him, but Brian found a brilliant out-in-two to tie the game and win the North American Championship by 120 spread points.
As I lumbered to the coffee shop for a Reuben and a margarita, Marlon gently whispered in my ear, "whatcha doin jaygee not gettinz a second opinion on an-teek?!? That sh%t's f@cked up, man!" Evermore despondent, I put down the blunt and unearthed my favorite crack pipe. As I sucked in the sweet vapor and assembled a syringe, a little light went off in my head. With a rubber tube still wrapped around my left bicep, I stumbled back into the playing hall to find Larry Rand who had taken over division one from the late Jim Bodenstedt. (Larry's motto: "You'll start the clocks when I say you start the clocks. And you'll like it.") Fumbling through an upside down rulebook and a copy of the TWL, I manage to drool out "10(h)," before collapsing into a psychedelic trip to planet Lovetron. I was walking into the Spenserian Volcano on Lovetron with my pet gizmoid, Nack, when the sound of the Waterfalls of Oliger made me turn my head, but they weren't there. Pinching myself, I made out the surreal image of hundreds of people clapping inside the volcano. Shaking my head and opening my eyes, I realize I'm back on earth and Mark Morris is handing me a check for $25,000, Jane Williams brews a pot of coffee, and John is barking on his cell phone, "what are you talking about, Bryant, he'll be great!"
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