Stella writes:

  Subject:  A  SCRABBLE SONNET

I've always thought a sonnet was the 14-line thing Shakespeare wrote a bunch of, but I never looked it up. According to MW10:

"A fixed verse form of Italian origin consisting of fourteen lines that are typically five-foot iambics rhyming according to a prescribed scheme; also: a poem in this pattern."

According to TCD98 (Chambers, the UK dictionary):

"Formerly, a short (especially lyrical poem); a short poem of fourteen lines of ten or eleven syllables, rhymed according to one or other of certain definite schemes, formaing an octave and a sestet, properly expressing two successive phases of one thought."

Hmph. Didn't know about the 8/6-two-thought-phases thing. But indeed, a sonnet is usually considered to be 14 lines. So I guess the Scrabbler's writing below would be better classified as a "poem" rather than a "sonnet". An ode, perhaps?

(People may go to http://www.doe.carleton.ca/~jac/warlord/poems.html to see some examples of my own sonnets.)

 So, comic that he thought he was, he penned her the following sonnet.
 Tell us what you think? How should she respond?

>>                     The flashiest bingo you ever played,
>>                     Do you do your laundry or have a maid?

Two amphibrachs followed by two iambs -- I guess that's OK, except I'd like all metrical feet to be the same.

>>                     What you look for in a leave,
>>                     Who you played on New Year's Eve?

A single stressed syllable and three iambs. Somewhat Seuss-ian. "Will you eat them in a boat? Will you eat them with a goat?"

>>                     Do you keep an eye out for all the hooks,
>>                     Do you find time to hit the books?

Now _this_ makes my skin crawl. Anapest, amphibrach, two iambs on the first line, then four iambs (or iamb, spondee, iamb, iamb) on the second line. The scansion's not consistent! Why couldn't the poet have written something like

>>                     Do you watch out for all the hooks,
>>                     Do you find time to hit the books?

This has the same metrical pattern in both lines, at least.

>>                     I wanna know you,
>>                     Like I know myself,
>>                     I'm waiting for you,
>>                     There ain't no one else.
>>                     Talk to me Baby,
>>                     Scream and shout...
>>                     I wanna know you -
>>                     Inside out.

We lose the Scrabble metaphor here and go straight into a rock music-type lyrical style. I'm not a big fan of this type of writing -- it strikes me as clumsy -- but it gets its point across, I guess.

>>                     The craziest phoney you ever played,
>>                     The biggest comeback you ever made,
>>                     Who you thank when you get the blanks,
>>                     Do you consider me in your rank?
>>                     The sweetest cake you ever baked,
>>                     How many anagrams in foliate?

This verse is a scansion nightmare. And what the hell's line five doing in there? I can't see the connection to Scrabble, so it looks as though it was thrown in there for rhyming purposes -- a cardinal sin in itself, and worse, it doesn't even rhyme properly. I also have a problem with line six, since "foliate" has no anagrams. They could have used "resinate" or some word with lots of anagrams.

>>                     I wanna know you,
>>                     Like I know myself.

...and back to the chorus.

>>                      
>>                     When seven vowels are on your rack,
>>                     When you get seven consonants back,
>>                     What you do when you're scrabbled out,
>>                     How you feel when you bingo out?
>>                     Your highest highs, your lowest lows,
>>                     Your biggest win, blow by blow,
>>                     These are things I wanna know.

More scansion problems in lines 1/2 and 5/6/7, but I really liked the addition of the seventh line: throwing a little asymmetry in there (seven lines in this verse compared to six in the others) is cool. Plus, it's a natural conclusion to the sentiments expressed in the other verses.

>>                     Talk to me Baby,
>>                     Scream and shout,                  
>>                     I wanna know you, inside out! 

Echoing the last four lines of the chorus, fair enough. I can't decide if I like the "inside out" moved to the same line as "I wanna know you" or not -- it's inconsistent with earlier choruses, but it provides more continuity in the idea expressed by not breaking the lines up.

If I'd been the recipient of the poem, I'd have been touched that someone wrote it for me, but I'd not like the poem itself much, unfortunately.

James.

Last Modified 5/31/00

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